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TDC Halloween Special III: Jessie Kills Sharita
Quotes Jessie's Back! Ciara: Oh my gosh, Jess, how did you survive? Jessie: Well, as Sharita shot me on the cruise, I thought I was as good as dead until someone came to rescue me. The next thing I saw was waking up in a coma where a doctor treated my wounds and injuries. Then I was released from hospital, caught a taxi and came here. Barbara: Wow Jessie, that was amazing. Eileen: So good to have you back. (Hugs Jessie) Jarrod: Uh guys, where did Sharita go? Julian: Holy shit, she escaped through this window! Tyne: Oh don't be silly, how could a fat ghetto bitch jump out of a rectangular window? Julian: Tyne, don't discriminate. No wonder I broke up with you 4 months ago. Jocelyn: Yeah Tyne, get the fuck lost. I'm Julian's girl now. (flips Tyne off) Sharita Gets Busted - Or does she? (Officer Morinah knocks on a door) Chaim: Uh yes? Officer Morinah: Ah yes, we're looking for a girl named Sharita, she's wanted for attempted murder. Chaim: Oh her? I haven't seen her for a while. I'll talk to you when I see her. Sharita: I got to find a good place to hide. (Spots Jessie's house) Perfect! I'll hide in there until the heat is off. Kidnapping Jessie: Ok Barbara, truth or dare? Barbara: Dare Jessie: Ok then, I dare you to twerk on Jocelyn. Barbara: Ok Jocelyn, the following actions I'll be doing to you will be super sexy. (Sharita bashes the door open, pulls out a gun) Sharita: Put your fucking hands up in the air!!! Julian: Woah bitch, chill. Sharita: Shut the fuck up, Julian! Now everyone down on your fucking knees! Adoriabelle: Hey guys, I just heard you all screaming because some fat ghetto bitch was trying to shoot you guys and... (Sharita shoots Adoriabelle several times in the chest) Adoriabelle: The bullets, she is making me die. Barbara: Oh my god, oh my god poor Adoriabelle! (Starts crying) Officer Fletcher: (Knocks on the door) What's going on in here? Sharita: Ok, I'm gonna tie everyone except Ciara up who will hide Adoriabelle's body and answer the doorbell. Ciara: (opens the door) What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer Fletcher: I got an anonymous call from this street saying that someone in this house has been disturbing the peace. Sharita: (points a gun to Ciara's back and whispers) Say 'We're just having a party'. Ciara: We're just having a party. Officer Fletcher: Alright then, if you spot Sharita, let me know. Sharita Takes Ciara As a Hostage Sharita: Looks like I'm going to be fucked. Ciara, get in your fucking car and drive me to the CIA. Ciara: I dunno, seems dangerous. Sharita: You want a fucking bullet through your head? Ciara: Alright, I'll drive you to the CIA. Sharita: You'll need an alias, so what is it? Ciara: Miley Cyrus Sharita: No way, that name gives me the shits. 28 hours later... Sharita: Well we're here, we could have arrived here 3 hours earlier if you hadn't picked up that injured bunny that I later shot in the head and then cried. Ciara: Well I was being nice and sweet as usual. Sharita: Shut up CC. Now all I have to do is to go inside and hack into their supercomputer and take control of the world's power grid, then I'll be queen of the world! 20 minutes later... Security Guard: Open up, you are going to be under arrest shortly. Sharita: Not so fast, soon I'll rule the world and you will be rendered useless. Security Guard: Oh no you don't! (Bashes the door open) Sharita: Oh dear, looks like you're too late. (Pushes button) As of now, I am the supreme leader of the world. Sharita's World Domination Sharita (on TV): Greetings losers, I am Sharita, ruler of the world. There will be a few strict rules. First off, listening to that white trash bitch Katy Perry's music on any device is illegal. Her songs are shit and it is punishable by death. Jocelyn: Well, the law is the law. Maybe I should go ahead and listen to Selena Gomez. Sharita: And as I have had it with that black-haired slut in the sky blue bandanna, anyone who sees Eileen must throw oranges at her. Eileen: Afternoon miss, I'd like to purchase this sexy outfit. (Cashier throws oranges at Eileen) Eileen: Ah! What the fuck!? Cashier: Sorry Eileen, it's the law. Sharita: I am also increasing the minimum age to have sexual intercourse and watch R-rated movies from 18 to 35. Barbara: Oh what!? I just turned 18! This is horseshit! Jessie Goes Rambo Jarrod: When is Sharita going to return and untie us? I have to go pee. Julian: I don't know but I think she might kill us if we return. Jessie: Wait Julian, did you just move your arm? Julian: Uh, yes I did. Jessie: You do realise that we've been tied up for 36 hours. Jessie's Revenge Jessie: You know what, that's it! I have had it with Sharita with her shitty laws! That bitch is going to fuck off from existence after I kill her in Washington DC. Eileen: Can I come too? Jessie: Sure thing. Sharita is a worse national leader than Tony Abbott and Richard Nixon combined. 1.5 hours later... Sharita: So for March 17th, the holiday should be changed to 'St. Sharita's Day.' Ciara: I dunno, I think the Catholics might get extremely pissed at us. Sharita: Oh who gives a fuck? I'm the ruler of the world and I can do anything I want. (Jessie smashes a window and she and Eileen enters the White House) Jessie: Not so fucking fast, Sharita! Eileen: yeah, your reign of terrible shit is gonna be fuckin over after we're done killing you! Sharita: You two sluts are going to kill me? (Laughs evilly) Jessie: Oh really? Eileen, let's go shoot this bitch. (Jessie and Eileen point their guns at Sharita and starts shooting) Sharita: Ha! You bitches missed and now I have both your weapons! Any last words? Eileen: Uh yeah, can Jessie and I lock lips with each other when you shoot both us because I want Jessie and I to die together? Sharita: Sure, why not? And say hi to Adoriabelle for me from Hell. (Gunshot) Jessie: Eileen, are there any bullet holes on you because there aren't any on me. Eileen: No, no there aren't any. Jessie: Then, who got shot? Ciara: Hey Sharita, that's for treating me as a fuckin slave for the past week! (Shoots Sharita again) Eileen: Wow CC, thank you for saving us from that bitch Sharita. Ciara: You're welcome. Now let's get out of here before we the CSI arrives. Trivia *This episode is based on the Family Guy episode Lois Kills Stewie Gallery Category:Season 4 Category:Episodes Category:Non-Canon